"Divorce linked to high blood pressure" - no kidding?

Sleeping badly after a divorce won't just leave you with dark circles under your eyes - research shows it could also cause dangerous increases in blood pressure, leading to serious illness.

A University of Arizona study questioned 138 people, all newly separated or divorced, about how well they were sleeping, and also took their blood pressure regularly over a seven month period.

Those people who regularly had trouble sleeping saw their blood pressure increase a few months later.

Kendra Krietsch, the study's project manager, said "If somebody is going through a divorce and unable to sleep, they really need to get some help or it could lead to problems. This study shows how important it is for all of us to value sleep and take care of ourselves.'

Another of the report's authors, David Sbarra, added: "What we found was if you're having sleep problems there is a cumulative bad effect after around ten weeks or so."

For people who have high blood pressure to begin with, the increase is not to be taken lightly, he added - high blood pressure trebles the risk of heart attacks and strokes, can damage the kidneys and eyes and is becoming increasingly linked to dementia.

I'm not entirely convinced we needed a study to tell us this, but it does serve to remind us all to look after ourselves in a divorce - chat to friends, try and do a little exercise, eat properly and don't drink too much!

Who gets the dog?

Back in January I blogged about the fact that 20% of separating couples argue about who gets the dog... Now it seems that the goalposts for decision making may be changing.

A new paper by a leading legal academic (Deborah Rook of Northumbria University) says that in the US and Israel different tests are being used to decide 'who gets the dog' in matrimonial disputes which may, in turn, lead to a shift in what factors are used in Court to decide where Fido should live.

In England and Wales we look very much to the 'property' aspect which is exactly this: who owns the dog? We'd look at who paid for it, who paid the insurance, who paid the vets bills, food, etc. In the US and Israel they're now beginning to look at 'what's in the best interests of the dog?' so factors such as the emotional bond Fido has with his humans and where he is likely to come to least physical harm.

One example cited in the paper is of a woman who wanted to keep the two family dogs in a divorce. The husband asked for the Mercedes Benz SLK instead (worth about £15,000 at the time) and that was agreed - he got the flashy car and she got the dogs.

Apparently he never even asked about them again, so the pooches were probably best off with the wife!

Britain has the highest rate of.....

Divorces in the EU!

You know that people have been saying 'one in three marriages ends in divorce' for absolutely ages?  Well, it's out of date.  According to a recent survey (from the EU's Eurostat statistical office in Luxembourg), the UK rate of divorce is now 2.8 per 1000.

It's not really something to be particularly proud of, but this is the highest rate in the EU.  Luxembourg (where the whole report came from, remember) has a rate of just 0.6 per 1000.

So, does this prove that if you love statistics you won't get divorced??

Status: Single?

So, you're splitting up, you're spitting feathers and you want to get your own back?

It's very tempting to let rip on Facebook or Twitter about your soon-to-be-ex, but it's really best to maintain the higher moral ground and at least some of your dignity...

Here are some of the do's and don'ts of divorcing on social media:

• Don't use social media to get personal.  Yes, we know you want to.
• If you lie, you could have a libel action against you.
• Don't make negative comments about your ex.  Again, we know you want to...
• Don't post pictures of yourself at social gatherings - even if you do look stunning.
• Avoid 'checking in' to any locations - your ex may well be watching.
• Remember you and your ex may have mutual friends so watch what you comment on.
• Don't change your relationship status to 'single' until your divorce is finalised.
• It's best not to interact online - use private emails or texts instead.
• If you're in any doubt about using your social media accounts, close them down!

And remember, if you want to talk to someone and let off steam, you could just pick up the phone or meet them for a coffee!

Love me, love my film?

A woman in Japan has reportedly asked to divorce her husband of six years because he doesn't share her love of the movie Frozen.

Photo:  Disney

The un-named man, aged 31, recently posted on the Japanese marriage advice forum 'Kikonsha no Hakaba" ("The Gravesite of Married People") that his wife has recently become obsessed with the film and made him watch it.

His view was that it was an OK movie but said that he didn't really care for it personally.

His wife, however, felt that if he couldn't understand how great a movie it was there must be something wrong with him as a human being...

The man claims there were no pre-existing issues in the marriage, with the couple apparently living comfortably, with no children and no financial worries.

He said his wife has since moved in with her parents and refuses to speak to him.

Now I can understand an obsession with football getting between a couple - but the film Frozen??

Divorce parties becoming all the rage

Many people, on gaining their decree absolute, may go out with friends, have a few mates round, or even splash out on a weekend away.  But how about a full 'reverse wedding' party?

Apparently, in a craze sweeping the divorced citizens of the USA, the bride comes in backwards, while her father will be there to 'take her back'.  She then gets her bouquet tossed back from one of her former bridesmaids, and puts photos of the original wedding gifts into nice frames to give them back to their givers.  Of course, they don't get the gift back, but they win a lovely frame!

Divorce cakes are becoming big business too - either black, or showing the wife/husband in their split.  I've even seen a picture of an upside-down wedding cake, with the small tier at the bottom - although I wouldn't like to have to transport it very far!

One of my colleagues made this cake for a divorced friend (to his specification).

In case you don't recognise it, it celebrates The Great Escape....

And yes, those are slices of 'bitter' lemon round the edge...

How many??!

Linda Wolfe (nee Taylor, if she can remember that far back) is the world's most married woman, with a staggering 23 marriages now behind her.  She first married in 1957 at the age of 16, and that one lasted 7 years which remains as her longest marriage.  Her shortest marriage was just 36 hours (really, is that possible?) when she said "the love just wasn't there".

She married Mr Wolfe in 1999 as a publicity stunt as he was the world's most married man, with 29 marriages.  He died a year later, at which time she said she was on the lookout for number 24.

In common with some celebrities, she married one of her husbands three times.  You'll probably know that Elizabeth Taylor married Richard Burton twice in her eight marriages, but did you also know that Lana Turner married one of her seven husbands twice, also meaning eight marriages in total?  Other much married celebrities include Zsa Zsa Gabor, who has married nine times and, more recently, Geena Davis who has been married four times.

Many cases of hope over experience?!