Party invitations for 5 year olds ...

You cannot possibly have missed hearing about the mother who sent an invoice to the father of a boy who missed her son’s birthday party - she had paid out for a party at a dry ski slope and when the friend was a no-show she thought it was reasonable for his parents to pay up.

The radio waves have been flooded with people putting in their arguments - for both sides - but perhaps the funniest I heard was on Radio 4 when their legal commentator suggested that no real contract exists with a party invitation (let alone when 5 year olds are involved) but perhaps it would be a route to go down…. so here goes:

We (the first party) (the parents of Joshua, hereinafter called ‘The Birthday Boy’) cordially invite you (the second party) (the parents of James hereinafter called ‘The Best Friend’) to allow The Best Friend to attend at the party of the first party at 3pm (hereinafter called ‘The Party’) at The Parish Hall (hereinafter called ‘The Venue’) … and so on.

Perhaps it would be easier, and better, if everybody just spoke to each other and let them know who was, and wasn’t, able to attend?

25% of parents secretly want a divorce

My first thought, on reading this research from relationship support Charity OnePlusOne was ‘only 25%'?!  After that long Christmas break together, kids off school and relatives all sitting around with nothing to do, it does surprise me that more people haven’t secretly hankered after a divorce. Or maybe they just didn’t answer the survey truthfully!

The research also showed that, whilst 6 in 10 admitted to having relationship problems, 23% had never asked anyone for help.

When they do seek help, they most often turn to (in order of decreasing popularity) friends, family, the internet, therapists and support services.

Talking to anyone is a good idea - it is often by talking the problems through that light at the end of the tunnel can appear.

So, if you’re one of the 25% that wants a divorce, talk to someone!

Today is D-Day

Yes, apparently today is 'Divorce Day' as it's the start of the first full working week of the New Year, and it's well known for being the day when more people take the first steps in a divorce.

It may be all that time spent together at Christmas, it may have been the family arguments - it may even have been the family (yours or your partners), it may be the debt if you overspent or it may, like my colleague, even have been the Christmas decorations.

I hope that you all had a peaceful, harmonious and restful Christmas.  If you didn't and you think it's time for divorce, take a week to sit back, breathe, get back into the routine of work and then find yourself a solicitor if it's still the right thing to do.

More of us are living on our own...

In a recent report, the Office for National Statistics said the number of people living alone has risen by nearly 10 per cent in the last decade:

• Half of people over 50 live alone.
• The proportion of people living alone increases with age.
• Between the ages of 35 and 49 men were more likely than women to live alone - possibly because any children tend to live with their mother after a separation.
• After the age of 65 the majority of those on their own were women - we do tend to outlive men, even in this day and age!
• The figures don’t necessarily mean all these people are single - just unwilling to move in with a new partner after perhaps already going through a divorce.

Which gets me thinking about the advantages of living alone….

• Eat what you want when you want.  Ice-cream for breakfast?  There’s no-one to tell you it’s wrong.  Is it wrong?
• No need to wash your hair/put your make-up on if you’re not going out.  Although, of course, that will guarantee it’s the day the gorgeous neighbour will pop round.
• Watch what you want on the telly.  No more football!
• Shopping for food is simpler - you just buy what you like.
• No more smelly socks on the floor.  Unless their yours, and that’s different.
• Paint everything pink.  Or blue.  Or green.  You get to choose!

And if you’re living alone this Christmas you can decorate the tree your way, you won’t have those family arguments, tussles over the remote control or turkey until Twelfth Night, and you can stay in your pyjamas all day.  Enjoy!

Bang bang!

What goes on in Vegas used to stay in Vegas, but not now that the boom in divorce weekends is hotting up.  Whilst wild post-divorce weekends are now as commonplace as three-day stag and hen parties, one enterprising Vegas event planner has come up with a novel twist.

Why not machine-gun your wedding dress?

Apparently you pitch up at a shooting range, hang the dress, load your machine gun (under careful guidance of the range experts) and … just let loose!

If you’re not quite feeling that violent, other popular options are sky-diving, golf, gambling nights, restaurants, strip clubs and of course a divorce cake.

Chocolate cake or machine gun?  Now there’s a question…

Feeling itchy? That’ll be after 10 years then...

Marilyn Monroe immortalised the ‘Seven Year Itch’ in her 1955 romantic comedy, yet a new study from Brigham Young University in the USA suggests that it is actually after 10 years that spouses should start to worry…

The researchers spoke to over 2000 women aged over 35 and, rather depressingly, found that most said that happiness and communication decline soon after marriage and never get any better.

The problems reach their peak after 10 years, possibly due to increasing household chores and childcare issues, but if you can hang on for another 5 years, things get slightly better.

It seems that after 15 years of marriage the feelings of restlessness begin to wane, continuing to decrease until the couple have been together for 35 years, when nearly a third of couples reported that things began to get better.

Maybe they just can’t be bothered to argue any more!

What's a wife worth?

Last week saw the UK's highest divorce settlement to date when £337m was awarded to Jamie Cooper-Hohn.  Whilst her former husband, Sir Chris Hohn had claimed, modestly, that she was not entitled to more than 25% of his fortune because he was the "unbelievable money-maker", Mrs Justice Roberts clearly thought differently and awarded Jamie Cooper-Hohn around 40% of the assets.

We can gasp at the figures involved, but the principle that there is more to a marriage than just earning money is key - the acknowledgement of the fact that the husband cannot go and earn that money unless there is a support system (i.e. a wife) behind him who organises the house, fills the fridge, picks the kids up from school and generally does 'all the other stuff' that goes on behind any great businessman.

The saying in a wedding of 'for richer, for poorer' can't just be measured in terms of money alone - and that's a good thing.