You know I love Facebook….

I may seem slightly obsessed - but this is an interesting one!

An article in the Telegraph details how it is the case that Facebook is not only part of everyday life, it is now rolling out its ‘legacy contacts’ feature in the UK, which allows users to appoint an executor of their profile after they die.

Vanessa Callison-Burch, product manager at Facebook said ‘Facebook is a place to share and connect with friends and family.  For many of us, it’s also a place to remember and honour those we have lost…When a person passes away, their account account can become a memorial of their life, friendships and experiences.’

Previously accounts would remain frozen as they could not be accessed or updated by anyone.

The Law Society has already urged people to leave clear instructions about what should happen to their digital footprint and digital assets after their death - so remember to pass on these email accounts, passwords and social media profiles when thinking about your Will…..Oh and of course make sure your ‘legacy contact’ is someone who you trust and know well!

To read the full article and see how to access the relevant settings on Facebook please refer to the Telegraph article here.

Not so hush hush

Splashed all over yesterday’s media was the news that the ‘go to’ website for those that wish to cheat - Ashley Madison - had been hacked.  The hackers claim to have information on ’’all the customers' secret sexual fantasies and matching credit card transactions". The still-unfolding leak could play out to be very damaging to some of its 1 million UK users, whose slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.”

Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman, has said the firm believes the hack was an inside job.

A case of not so much 'discreet encounters' and now the Avid Life Media firm which runs Ashley Madison has been forced to respond with an offer of a free permeant delete - that allows members to completely erase profile information, that previously cost them a £12.00 fee.

I think maybe too little too late as the cat it seems is well and truly out of the bag already…..maybe a mediation session to talk through issues would have been a better option rather than to bury heads in the sand over relationship problems and embark on an anonymous affair!  Mediation is a process to help couples who are on the cusp or have decided to separate or divorce to talk things through.  As a trained mediator, I can help you reach agreement about how to make the best arrangements for the future.

‘Are they covering the cost of the divorce?'

A new programme aired on Channel 4 last Thursday that followed couples that had been chosen as ‘perfect matches’ for marriage, through a process supposedly based on science.  The experiment - which originated in Denmark - saw the couples meet for the first time on their wedding day.

All of this alongside the Office of National Statistics releasing findings relating to marital status and living arrangements. Data now suggests that between 2002 - 2014 the percentage of the population who were single or divorced increased but the proportions who were married or widowed decreased.

Social media went into a frenzy with many suggesting the ‘Married at fist sight’ television programme made a mockery of marriage.  It’s certainly a novel way to search for ‘The One’ and the cynic in me thinks - shall I send them my business card? The stat’s certainly seem to suggest that a divorce lawyer would potentially be required in the future!

The next episode of Married at first sight airs on Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4

The full findings from the Office of National Statistics report can be found here

All in a name

A recent survey by The New York Times has highlighted that up to 20% of women are keeping their maiden names on marriage.

Nova of Washington says -I kept my maiden name because of the trouble and expense of changing my passport, driving license, legal papers, mortgage documents, business cards, etc. I also have an established business and “name” and didn’t want to confuse all of my clients.

Yet there still seems to be some support for the old way of doing things
as Lynn from New York says - Having the husband’s name is more convenient in working with schools and other organisations where the children are enrolled and have their father’s name.

One of my colleagues recently divorced and didn’t like her maiden name and was going to choose a completely new name - so many options!  Eventually she gave up and went back to her maiden name, before re-marrying and ending up with a new surname she actually liked.

If you want any advice about names before or after marriage or divorce then please get in touch. We give free advice so remember that it doesn’t need to cost anything!

I give you half.....

An amazing story emerged from Germany this week - a newly divorced man, Martin, sawed up everything he owned and put half up for sale on Ebay simply entitled 'For Laura' as an act of revenge against his cheating spouse.  The auction site showed half a car

half a teddy bear...

and half a bicycle...

Several million views and quite a lot of Euros later, it emerged that the story was the brainchild of the German Bar Association, designed to highlight the squabbles that can emerge in divorce cases.

Whilst I admire their creativity (and use of Photoshop), I can't help feeling that this rather concentrates on the negative aspect of divorce, where it can actually be a time of moving on, changing your life and escaping an unhappy marriage.  

Not all lawyers are so cynical as the German Bar Association!

Just give me the money....

There’s an excellent story this week which proves just why you should always use a lawyer…

An ex-wife made an application to get her ex-husband to pay up the £80,000 he had been ordered to pay her in the final order of their divorce settlement.

He said he already paid it. However, it’s HOW he says he paid it that makes for an interesting read. He swears (and did so, in Court) that he took it to her IN CASH at Pizza Express in Slough. That’s a lot of cash. Maybe he put it in a holdall…

Sadly his story didn’t really hold up for the following reasons:

He says he took a photo of her receiving the money but he had since lost his phone.
He says he took his brother with him but the brother didn’t see the ex-wife.
He says he took a third witness, but now can’t produce that witness.
He says he didn’t get a receipt because ‘he trusted his ex-wife’.
He says she agreed to £40,000 in cash rather than the £80,000 the court had ruled because she didn’t want it to affect her benefits.
He had already said to his solicitor that he wasn’t going to comply with the £80,000 order.

Oops.

The Judge, needless to say, didn’t believe a word of it and the ex-husband is now being told to pay the ex-wife’s legal costs. The file is also being passed to the Director of Public Prosecutions who may go after the ex-husband for perjury.

Some useful points to remember from this then:

1.  Use a lawyer if you’re planning to hand over £40,000 in cash.  Also consider a bodyguard.
2.  Get a receipt.
3.  Comply with any court orders.
4.  Have a witness.
5.  Don’t lie in court.

Most important of those is:  USE A LAWYER!

You're leaving what??

A fascinating article in The Guardian this weekend looked at the things people leave to others in their wills.

For example, Diana, Princess of Wales, left her butler £50,000 and Alexander McQueen left the same sum to his dogs.

The article goes on to say that only a third of us have a will. According to the Ministry of Justice, of that third, a further third will have failed to update their will to reflect major life changes, such as remarriage. A survey by the organisation Dying Matters found that fewer than 50% of couples have any idea of what their partners’ end-of-life wishes actually are. It seems we prefer to remain blissfully ignorant.

It also tells the sad story of Peter, his daughter Katy and his second wife, Jean.  Peter, who hadn’t made a will, sadly died before Jean so under the rules of intestacy, his estate went to Jean.  When she died, Katy got nothing, everything went to Jean’s family.  This is surely not what Peter would have wanted - if he’d simply made a Will it would have been simpler.

Whilst chatting about wills and dying over the dinner table might feel like an awkward thing to do, it is very important that you do - especially if you’re remarried, separated or divorced.

If you’d like to talk to us about a will, simply email Lynn or telephone for an appointment on 029 2039 5888.